Saturday, 29 December 2018

Walking into the darkness

Yes, I am alive. None of the wastrels from the previous post have reached out to me, so that's been blissful. I figured it's about time for an update.

The previous post was cathartic. It allowed me to cull down my social media extensively. I had a few people remove me just prior to and after I posted what I did, but those people are weak and cowardly. My life has suffered no ill effects from losing those people, so net gain for me, I suppose.

In much of the culling in social media, it has allowed me to step back from a lot of things. I did mean what I said about being done with the neopagan community. There are many lovely people within it, but there are also a lot of nasty, damaged people. No one needs that shit, not when there is so much else to live for and busy oneself with. Too many people who seek drama, too many people who have
an agenda, too many people who follow others to the exclusion of all logic. Fuck that.

Family has become a very important part of my life. The past autumn has brought death - my husband's aunt, and my great uncle who was like a grandfather to me. However,  it has also brought healing, it has brought closeness. Forging new bonds and connections. It has been an emotionally exhausting time, and I am hoping that all of that will even out in the new year.

My mother's surgery for her benign meningioma went very well. She is now waking up with no headaches after many years. She spent a little over a month in the hospital after her surgery doing physiotherapy and occupational therapy, but she was officially released on October 31. She's still not allowed to work, and she still has some healing to do. I am exceedingly grateful that she is healing as well as she is, but it's not fast enough for her. Healing from brain surgery is much like healing from a stroke, so she still has a bit of healing to do before she's better. I'm very proud of her progress, though, and we were able to spend the winter holidays together for the first time in many years.

I have been rather preoccupied with family matters for the last number of months, but my own practice has been bolstered by daily devotions and marking the seasons. We've had a very snowy and cold autumn, the weather here is very mutable in the snowbelt. It feels rather cozy, as opposed to stark and cold, but I suppose we haven't even delved into the depths of winter yet. I am prepared to walk into the darkness, especially since midwinter has passed and the days are slowly getting longer.

Life right now is just good music, good friends, good family, and good books. All good things. I've been trying to focus on the positive.