Monday, 25 June 2018

The Chariot. The Star. The World.

So I hinted a while back that I had some big things brewing. Now that I have some actual, definitive news, here it is - we're moving!

We're actually doing an inter-provincial move and going back to my homeland.

Why? Why the hell would you move there? There are so few people. It's so small!

Well, friendship, here is the truth of it. My mother was diagnosed a few years ago with a benign brain tumour. A neuroscientist friend of mine once said she won the brain tumour lottery - it's small, benign, slow growing, and in an easily operable location. She's been managing it with medication. All of that said, her daily pain has grown worse over the last year or so,  and she has had to up her pain medication. All of this has been taken into consideration, and she has chosen to arrange for surgery in the fall.

Aside from my mother's health, It's really come down to 3 points:

Point the first: We've had a really rough few years here. Friends that I thought would be ride-or-die for life were revealed to be duplicitous, cowardly, and toxic. It was a deep betrayal, the deepest, and while I do hold forgiveness in my heart, my mind will never forget. So I did a bit of surgery on my social life, and have kept my nearest near, and those I have near I fully and absolutely trust. I cut the cancer out, so to speak. There have been job changes, health scares, and mental health issues. All of that while trying to provide support to my family away and keep myself sane. The last 2 years have given and taken way, and it feels like a good time for transition. This is the least important of the points.

Point deux: We have been looking to buy a house. We have a downpayment squirrelled away, but the houses here in this city are so expensive. We've been pretty adamant we didn't want to settle for a semi-detached - we've shared walls with people for a long time, we really want to have the detached home. We could easily afford a semi, but we're holding out for a detached in a semi-rural setting. That is simply going to be easier to afford back home, where houses are 3/4 of the price. We'll be hopefully renting for a bit first, but we're hoping to find the perfect property in the next year.

Point Très: We want to spend more time with our families. D's family lives here, but he's never lived outside of this province, and he really wants to make the move. DPM's family is back home, and no one is getting any younger. My grandmother is still around, and I want to spend as much time as I can with her. I think we want to spend time with our parents while we have them, and really get to know them as adults. DPM and I left fairly young, so it would be nice to reconnect. We also have friends that are pretty much family and have been for over 20 years. We want to see their kiddos grow and spend more time with them too, since we rarely see them.

So DPM's gotten a job, which he starts end of next month. I am still in the midst of trying to transfer (the joy of government jobs and red tape) but I have a few irons in the fire as well. I also will have EI to fall back on if I don't quite land something immediately. D's going to come without a job, so he can get the lay of the land and allow our animals to get used to living elsewhere. Then he'll start looking for something. He's kind of a jack-of-all-trades, so I imagine he'll find something fairly quickly. We still have to find a place to live, which is it's own stress, and the rental market is rotten over there. I'm essentially living in the online classifieds. We couldn't start looking until one of us had a definitive offer, and DPM got his this morning.

So all this got me like:

There is so much too do! We have to put in our notice here, we have to book the U-haul, we have to pack. We've got 14 boxes packed so far, but it's all books. The hot and heavy packing will start in earnest next week.

I am so looking forward to going home again. I am looking forward with reconnecting with the land of my birth. I am looking forward to this rebirth - because it's been tumultuous and hard and it still will be for awhile.

But it will all be worth it. Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.