Sunday, 9 August 2015

Handfasting and general updates

Us, with some lovely flowers from D's pops after our ceremony.

One wedding down, one to go.

Back on July 25, I got handfasted to my sweetie, D. He is an amazing human being, and I am so so lucky to have someone like him in my life.

It's been a weird journey. Coming out to extended family as an alternate family unit was difficult. People we thought were trustworthy and loving turned out to be, well... not. There's been a bit of a schism between D and a few members of his family that's been a difficult thing to adjust to. There are many, many people who know about us, and who have been supportive and loving and accepting in the last 10 years. D's mum, rest her, was the first person he told, and she was lovely about it. Many members of his extended family have taken the time to message us and tell us how happy they are for us. Combine that with our chosen family, our coven, our parents... it's been a lot of love on all sides. The familial blow up over the past few weeks has been difficult, but I am so proud of my now husband for standing up for himself and asserting how he feels. He can be a bit of a pushover for the sake of harmony in many situations, but this was something that immediately got under his skin - and he can have a bit of a temper when something gets under his skin. The last 2 weeks or so have shown me the angriest he has ever been since I have known him. There have been many late nights of him ranting and raving about how floored and angry he is about this, how hurt, and what damage has been done.

Me? I just feel utterly betrayed. I had a lot of trust and love placed in the people involved, and it's never a fun or welcome thing to find out that kind of thing is misplaced. To be painted as something I am not is never a fun thing, but unfortunately, it's something I have practice in dealing with. I am just staying out of the conflict, doing my own thing over here, and hopefully it'll be resolved, eventually. The friendship I had is dissolved, though, and I don't think we'll get that back. That's something I have to deal with, in time. Betrayal and lies never sit well with me. I'm a loving person, and I am a good person. I wear my heart on my sleeve in a lot of ways. I am forgiving - and almost always willing to do so - but I never fucking forget. Ever. My mental rolodex is organized by the wrongs done.

All that nastiness aside, it was a lovely ceremony presided over by GarmsTears. We gathered in a local park. It had been pissing rain all week, but the rain held off for 5 or 6 hours, even opening up to blue sky during the ceremony. A raven flew overhead, croaking a hearty approval. Our coven sister DragonLady took some pictures. Afterwards there were hugs, tears, and joy. After that, we had a picnic of cupcakes and finger foods (and we snuck some wine in too!) and sweet tea. We chatted and shared time with everyone, and then we tidied up and walked along the lake to catch a bus home. It was really, really nice.

Our altar. We wanted it sort of inconspicuous and general, but we did want to include D's late mum. The handfasting cords we picked out. The box holding our rings was given to me by D's father after D's mum passed, and belonged to her.

This is my favourite picture of the whole day. D is reading/sobbing his wedding vows (and quoting one of my favourite movies, The Princess Bride), I'm beaming at him, and behind me is my soon-to-be-husband, partner of 17 years, DPM, radiantly smiling at both of us.

Exchanging rings and swearing oaths to one another in front of witnesses.

Being bound through handfasting.

Kiss kiss!

Life has been blessedly quiet since that point. August is going to be a busy month, with people visiting, trying to catch up with all those folks, and making plans for marriage #2 in September, the legal one. Thankfully, no ceremony. Just off to the courthouse for a quickie, or 'to sign some paperwork', as DPM is fond of saying. The paperwork and courthouse cost a bit of change, so there is  the cost for that we're saving for. I also had to order rings - 2 for myself, and one for DPM. I have the ring I got for my handfasting (I ordered it from Etsy a while back - very simple little silver ring with aquamarine), but it's shape makes it difficult to pair anything with, so I ordered a beautiful set on Etsy of two rings, one for each. Sterling silver with a floral design, and one of the rings has a piece of mystic topaz in it. DPM's ring is a handmade titanium piece, also from Etsy. Our family is coming over, we plan on having a family lunch and a big dinner with all of our friends. It'll be fun.

I've been trying to finish up my reading. I just finished the Magicians trilogy by Lev Grossman - they're making a series and after reading the books, I'm really looking forward to it. I'm currently reading Armada by Ernest Cline. His first book, Ready Player One, is one of my favourite books ever. So far, Armada is a fast read - a little derivative of his first book, but still enjoyable. The characters are great. A lot of comparisons to Last Starfighter and Ender's Game. When that's done, I've going to try and read Goblet of Fire in french. I've been trying to brush up on the language - it could be very handy in my current career, and I used to be fully fluent - and reading a book I've read a million times should be helpful.

After that, I have a whole bookshelf of books to tackle. I wanted to give my brain a break from the non fiction for awhile. I have a few fiction books to pick through, stuff I ordered awhile ago when I was picking through Goodreads recommendations, but I still have to finish a book to complete my yearly requirements for IDGAF, but I have a few (just a few? ha!) to choose from.

I'm going back on Eifnir in a few weeks to talk about Skyrim and Elder Scrolls. That should be a gas. I haven't had much of a chance to play any games lately, but I've been thinking about picking up Animal Crossing again. DPM's been obsessed with Pokemon lately. I've also been thinking of picking up something else. D really enjoys Uncharted, so I may give that a go.

That's about it, I think. I have another article in the works, but I think that's a few weeks off. I don't think I have anything else to cover.